Maryanne Skipper

When I started this blog around nine months ago, I intended to write about my experiences out in the country, write about chickens, and write about my journey to get published. But, this blog has also become an outlet for me to talk about my beautiful memories and a way for me to cope with grief.

As of last month, our family has lost four grandparents this past year, and my heart is very heavy with loss and grief. My husband and I were blessed upon measure to have grandparents with us until they were around 90 years old, but it also meant they would also pass away around the same time. I was very close with all my grandparents, so this year has been extremely painful.

My Grammy, Maryanne Skipper, died at age 88 in April. She was a strong woman who had four kids, lots of grandkids and great grandkids, traveled the world, loved her husband, my Dutchie, was an avid reader, loved to cook and had an active (and some would say "stubborn") mind until the end. Grammy died of advanced COPD because of smoking most of her life. Her death was extremely long and uncomfortable, and I hope and pray that anyone reading this post will consider stopping any smoking habits. COPD is an awful illness!

Everyone in my family had a different type of relationship with Grammy, some good, some not so good, but this my own personal goodbye story to her. Growing up, Grammy was a constant part of my life. I could count on seeing her at every holiday and birthday gathering, and I always looked forward to her bringing her Bing Cherry Fluff (it's delicious!). She was one of those old fashioned grandmas who believed children "should be seen and not heard", so although I loved her dearly, we really didn't become close until I was in my 20s.

When I moved out of my parent's home and was living solo in the city, Grammy would invite me to her condo every Thursday night for a home cooked meal with my Dutchie (grandpa) and her. For hours we would eat her delicious food, play competitive games of Phase 10, and eat pie. Not having a lot of friends in the city and not having a very active social calendar, I really looked forward to spending time with them every week. They made me feel so special and wonderful during every visit.

When I got married to my hubby, Mike, Grammy GREATLY appreciated my choice in a lifetime partner. She extended her weekly dinner invitation to Mike, and we spent so many nights at her house enjoying her wonderful cooking and playing card games. We chose to get married the same weekend that Dutchie and her had gotten married, so we shared a Valentine's Day anniversary. She danced with Mike at our wedding with the biggest smile on her face, she absolutely thought of Mike as a grandson and not just some guy I was marrying. It meant so much to me how Grammy and Dutchie welcomed my Mike into our family.

On Grammy and Dutchie's 65th wedding anniversary, Mike and I took them to New York City to the same place they had their honeymoon, The Roosevelt Hotel. The hotel rolled out the red carpet, quite literally, during their stay to celebrate such a big anniversary. Grammy and Dutchie were able to visit the hotel room they stayed at during their first honeymoon, but since it was their 65th anniversary, The Roosevelt upgraded their room to the large honeymoon suite complete with champagne, fruit trays, and dinners at their restaurant.....the sky was the limit. Mike and I were their personal escorts during the trip to make sure their anniversary was memorable and special, and since it was our anniversary too, we had the best time. We played about a hundred more games of Phase 10 and enjoyed seeing the city. That was the last trip Grammy was able to take because of her breathing issues, which made it even more special for me and I'll never forget the time I was able to spend with her.

It's difficult for me to think of going down to Indiana without seeing those familiar faces I've grown accustomed to see the past forty-two years of my life. Every time I have the urge to visit the homes of my grandparents, I have to remember the hard facts...they don't live there anymore, they are gone. I know that death is a part of life, no one can escape it, but it's strange knowing I won't be able to hear Grammy's voice anymore or be able to visit her. It was a gift that I took for granted and now that gift has been taken away.

When Grammy moved away from her condo a couple years ago to move into a senior facility, she gave me some of her things that she couldn't keep anymore. I've placed her things all around my house. They are like little Grammy memories I look at to help me feel like she's near. Her beautiful Avon porcelain ladies now stare at me while I'm folding my kid's clothes in the living room. My TV sits on the antique butcher block Grammy and Dutchie bought from a Florida grocery store in the 60s. Grammy cooked so many meals on that butcher block! Although she is gone, I can take care of the things that were important to her during her life, which gives me a small bit of comfort.

I'm sorry this is such a sad post, but I want my Grammy to know, from afar, that she was special and loved. Every time Mike and I celebrate our anniversary or I beat him in another game of Phase 10, I think of you Grammy. Thank you for being such a wonderful grandma to me. I love you.

Thanks for reading my Country Squawk,

Kelly