Happy New Year's From The Crazy Lady With A Crowbar!

Happy New Year to Everyone!

Believe it or not, this new year has ALREADY brought about an interesting problem for The Squawk...a new predator.

I shouldn't be as shocked when something new or unusual happens inside my chicken coop. I've had chickens for six years now...you would think I would be able to handle uncertain things about my coop including the good, the bad, and the ugly. But three days before Christmas, just after I posted my Christmas blog full of love and hope for the new year, I found two dead chickens inside my coop and a mysterious poop.

Poop and footprints have become super important to me as a chicken farmer. Whenever I need to put on my super sleuth hat to figure out a problem, whether it's health problems or predator problems, I check for poop and footprints (maybe I should cross stitch that on a pillow to share my wisdom, haha). This is especially true in the winter when predator attacks happen more frequently when all outside animals are hungry since food is scarce. Footprints are easy to see in Michigan since we get a fresh layer of snow every day.

Skye, the dog who can't sniff out a raccoon....doesn't she look so sad about her defective raccoon nose?

The mysterious poop (not to be gross) looked a lot like a small dog's poop, not at all like chicken poop. I found the poop close to one of my dead chickens, so the animal probably went number two after eating number one. While looking high and low around the coop, I couldn't find any predators inside. I looked and looked, and I even had my dog, Skye, in the coop to alert me of any danger, but we couldn't find anything. Skye, my infamous Miss Wigglebutt, should be fired from duty...her hound-dog nose failed us both. The predator wasn't only still inside the coop, but ready to harm my girls at midnight that very night, two days before Christmas.

I was watching tv in bed that night, about ready to fall asleep, when I heard all of my chickens start screaming, not little polite squawks, but full out screaming. It sounded like a lady from a very scary movie was inside my coop. I ran outside in the chilly winter night with just my pajamas and robe, fumbling to get my muck boots on as I quickly darted through the snow.

Once I got to the coop, I couldn't believe I forgot to bring a flashlight. I couldn't see anything, it was completely dark! Not wanting to go inside a coop with lots of frightened chickens and an unknown attacker, I had to unlock the door to the barn to turn on the coop's lights. I had to enter the number combination of the door lock not once, not twice, but three times because I was so distracted and scared by all the noises I was hearing inside my coop.

When I was finally able to turn on the coop lights, I saw the biggest raccoon trying to climb up my roosting bar to attack more chickens!!!!

Things I immediately thought (like how a mind races in an emergency) but not necessarily in this order:

1. Find protection...raccoons are terrible creatures and they have no problems attacking their attacker.

2. This raccoon was going to kill more hens!

3. I need a gun. No, I'll shoot a hole in the barn. No, I don't know how to shoot a gun. No, I'm terrified of guns.

4. I need my husband, Mike. Oh no, he is in New York City!

5. Open the coop door, maybe the stupid, murderous raccoon will run out.

6. I need my 12 year old son to help me get this raccoon out. No, I don't want my baby boy to get hurt.

7. I have NO IDEA WHAT TO DO!

So, like any damsel in distress with her robe flapping around her legs in the breeze, I started screaming like the lady in the scary movies. This was an AWFUL situation, one that I could not win! Upon hearing my royal temper tantrum, the raccoon suddenly froze in his pursuit of his next meal and stared at me like the crazy lady I was (or still am). We both didn't know what to do next.

I might have had to much fun while generating this picture from AI. You'll never look at a cloud the same way again, haha.

Running inside the barn to my husband's tool area, I quickly looked around for something to protect me from this terrible beast. I decided to use a long, metal crowbar with a pointy end to prepare for battle. Using the crowbar to shepherd the raccoon closer to the open coop door with my trembling hands, that silly creature chose to climb up to the top roosting bar trying to get away from me.

The ten chickens on top of the roosting bar the raccoon was about to climb on started flying down on top of my head trying to escape him .

It's raining chickens, hallelujah, it's raining chickens... Amen!

In a moment of desperation, I tried to impale the raccoon with the crowbar into his gut trying to injure or kill him because he kept trying to snap his sharp jaws at me. It didn't work.

The chase went on for nearly a half hour with the raccoon eventually climbing up into the alcoves of my coop, thankfully away from all the roosting bars. With the raccoon safely tucked away inside my coop where I couldn't reach him or trap him, I was heartbroken. What was I going to do? Half of my girls were still inside the coop, half of them were screaming their heads off outside in the woods. Would I lose most of my flock?

This lady looks way more peaceful sleeping in the snow than I would have looked like sleeping outside!

I thought about bringing every blanket I own outside and sleeping inside the coop that night. It was freezing, but the thought of leaving my flock unguarded that night was terrifying to me, like six years of loving them would be wiped away in one night by a one bad guy.

But, as luck had it, I also had a very sick kid inside my house with the upper respiratory flu and a high fever. She needed my attention more than my feathered friends (everything has to happen at once, doesn't it?).

I then made the tough decision to leave all the coop doors left wide open for the rest of the night so the bad guy could make his exit on his own terms.

My chickens were scared to death. Half of them slept outside unprotected from other predators with my rooster, Floppy, standing guard (don't let his name fool you, he is a wonderful protector that has a floppy comb over one of his manly eyes). The chickens perched on the swing right beside my front door, which was a wise strategy for them since most predators won't attack anything next to a house....especially when a crazy lady with a crowbar lives there.

The other half of the flock slept inside the roosting/egg laying room of the coop which I boarded up so the raccoon couldn't enter. A handful of chickens slept in the chicken run in the same area as the raccoon. My other rooster, Skipper, took care of them. He kept the girls safe while the raccoon made his exit sometime early that morning.

I did some research and spoke with some hunters about raccoons the next couple days. Will the raccoon come back inside the coop? Will he remember how to get through the tiny chicken door? The answer was yes and yes.

Raccoons are smart little criminals. They know how to find food, know how to open simple doors with one latch, quickly learn the layout of barns, coops, etc. He will be back....and I will be ready.

I've been setting this raccoon trap by the coop every night after the chicken door closes. The trap is currently closed so I don't catch a chicken during the day. I have an old rotisserie chicken inside as bait.

I've been setting up a trap nearby the coop for the past week trying to get the raccoon if he is dumb enough to come back to hurt my girls. We've been getting an inch of snow every night, so I think that has deterred the raccoon from venturing out from his hiding spot. But, when his little black rimmed eyes make an appearance, he will be trapped and sent to raccoon heaven for interrupting my chicken peace in 2026!

My chicken count was near 80 this summer and now it's down to 48. I've lost some chickens to hawks, illness, old age, and gender (not all roosters can live on the farm), but I have a feeling this guy has been stalking my girls for awhile....bless his pea picking heart.

Although 2026 hasn't begun on a high note with this predator attack, I love the start of a brand New Year. It almost has a magical ring to it. What can happen this next year? What can be achieved. It feels like the sky is the limit....so many opportunities and possibilities to learn and grow into a better, wiser person with a fresh, new start. It also feels like a great time to have another book published, WooHoo!!!

I hope and pray that this year brings hope and joy to my readers, despite the raccoons in all our lives.

Thanks for reading my Country Squawk,

Kelly