The Michigan Paint Job

This is a picture of my dream car, an antique red beauty. Isn't she pretty? It doesn't matter what make, model, or year it was built, as long as it was built sometime around the 50s and it's red (cherry red is my favorite color). To me, everything from that time period looks like it was made in Hollywood, very glamorous and elegant. Look at the rims on those tires...and I bet you anything the steering wheel is bright red and the leather interior matches it exactly. Both Mike and I love old cars, and one day, we hope to have a barn full of them. With his excellent mechanic skills, Mike will make sure each car is up and running with the motors purring smoothly. My job will be to sit inside my old cars wearing bright red lipstick, white gloves, and a scarf wrapped around my head pretending like I'm riding somewhere with Cary Grant. Maybe Mike and I will go on Sunday drives with these antique beauties and annoy all the other drivers in town going 30 miles per hour, strutting our stuff. (That might be a total fib, I really enjoy driving fast!)

Reality check, this is my current ride, an old black Town and Country minivan. I live about five miles off a dirt road in Michigan. My car should be black, but most of the time it's this fancy color called The Michigan Paint Job. My fellow Michiganders might be thinking, "Wah, wah, wah!" she's going to complain about the dirt roads in Michigan. Well, I'm not going to complain about them at all!

I've long gotten over the fact that my car will never be clean. I actually should thank Michigan for not paving most of their roads. My car, by far, is the easiest to spot out in the parking lot, because it's always the dirtiest. Dirt roads in Michigan normally mean that the communities have chosen not to develop the land or try to build subdivisions full of identical looking homes. It is almost guaranteed that all dirt roads will remain country land (which I love)....until they are paved, then watch out. The vinyl villages are coming!

Dirt roads actually make me feel a bit like Indiana Jones on an off roading adventure. Depending on the weather, nope, I'm kidding, in EVERY type of weather there, the roads change on a daily basis. The potholes get deeper and multiply, the rain ripples in the dirt get ripplier, the roads slope downward on the sides so we have to drive in the middle of the road, and after a downpour of rain, the mud gets quite slippery. Muddy dirt is like driving on a sheet of ice, and cars go off into ditches pretty easily. My kids often compare driving in the mud like a roller coaster ride. Every once in a great while, the county sends graders to till up the dirt or dump trucks full of gravel to even out the bumpiest parts of the road. The roads remain smooth for roughly a week before they return to their normal, gnarled selves. My minivan, despite not being four wheel drive, has done a decent job of not popping a tire and staying on the road. I haven't had any problems yet, knock on wood.

During my first fall in Michigan, I got a couple car washes to rinse off the dirt. But once I went through the car wash and had a nice clean car, I had a BIG problem...I had to drive back the same way I came, through the same dirt roads. A five dollar car wash was a huge waste of money because it looked as dirty coming home after the wash as it had been before driving to the car wash. Now the only time I cave in and get a car wash is when the back of my car gets so heavy with dirt that my trunk door will no longer stay open when I'm loading groceries.

Typical Michigan Dirt Road...At Least They're Pretty

So, even though I do not have my own beautiful red cruiser, my minivan is pretty heroic for facing these grueling dirt roads everyday without too many complaints. Maybe my dream car should be my minivan, because it can withstand the dirt road obstacles, tote my kids and their friends around, and hold tons of groceries, garage sale finds, and other necessities on our way home. If only it was cherry red....

Thanks for reading my Country Squawk,

Kelly